Today is one of those Early Dismissal days from Alyssa's school for parent-teacher conferences, and perhaps I'm a little crazy, but I'm actually enjoying having both my children home with me for the afternoon. Granted, ask me by Friday and I might be visualizing a "happy place" where both children are in school for 6 hours a day, but right now, this minute, I'm happy they are home.
Perhaps it is because I just signed my "baby" up for Kindergarten next year just last week and it's becoming clear that time is flying faster than I'd care to admit. Possibly it is because I've been having to contemplate finding part-time work due to hubby's unstable work situation and it's dawning on me just how fortunate I've been to be home with my children these last few years. More likely it is because at this very moment they are playing so beautifully together, proof enough of that is that I'm able to type more than one sentence without interruption. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for the days when we actually had more playtime together during the week -- before my daughter went to school full-time.
It's truly a case of "the grass is greener" though, isn't it?
I'm sure another SAHM who is the thick of child rearing with two young preschool or younger children, must think I'm a bit off for not rejoicing more in the time away from children, than mourning the lack of time with them. I certainly felt that way at times when I was busy at home with two young children; and don't get me wrong, there are many days after sending one off to preschool with his father and putting the other one on the bus for school, that I come home, pour myself a cup of tea and rejoice in the peace of my quiet, empty home.
There are certainly days that I'm extremely grateful my children have reached a level of independence that grants me the freedom to sit here and share a few thoughts, indulge in a cup of tea and sneak a personal moment during the hectic day. Yet it is also dawning on me that these same freedoms are paid for in the currency of less down-time for my children, less time for them to play together as they are right now and, most significantly, less snuggle time and play time for us together.
So call me crazy, but I'm grateful today is a half-day of school and that spring break is coming in just a few weeks. We have no big plans, but that's ok. In the end what really matters is simply having time. Heaven knows it flies by much too fast as it is.