Monday, May 18, 2009

Now he's 5!

The day has come when my "baby" is no longer a baby anymore. He's not a toddler, or a preschooler, but a real "little boy." He no longer needs diapers or pull-ups or a sippy cup. He can feed himself, make his own bed (granted, not very well), get dressed by himself, put on his own shoes and socks (though he hasn't learned to tie laces yet) and can pour his own cereal into his bowl (though I still help with the milk). He can express he needs, desires, wishes and dreams. He can almost ride a bike without training wheels. He draws wonderful pictures full of details and can tell amazing stories. He's beginning to hold his own with his older (bossy) sister, but still gives in to her much of the time simply because he is a peace-keeper and doesn't like to see people unhappy. After a bit of a socially rocky start, he's found his niche among his classmates in preschool and is universally well liked.

My "baby" has developed into this amazingly caring, unbelieveably sweet, stirringly sensitive and highly inquisitive little person.

How can it be that just 5 years ago we went into the hospital anticipating meeting this new little stranger who was going to become a part of our family. We had so many unanswerable questions about who this new little person was going to be and how he'd fit into our family. How could we love another child as much as we loved our first? Who would he look like? Would we love having a son as much as we loved having a daughter?

These questions seem so ridiculous now in retrospect, but at the time they were truly thoughts that were going through our heads. Five years later I feel we know the answers to those questions, though now we have so many more. We know having a son was one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received. I love having a daughter, but I truly believe there is also something very special between a mother and son. Had I had my choice, I would have chosen a 2nd daughter and every day I'm so grateful the choice was not mine to make. Furthermore, to have been blessed with such a sensitive, caring and truly sweet little boy has enriched my life more than I can ever express. As for how he would fit into our family, well, I can't imagine our family without his kind heart and generous, giving nature.

It was impossible to imagine as I first looked into the face of this newly born screaming little stranger 5 years ago today, what a gentle, soft-spoken tender hearted little man he would grow up to be. As for what kind of little boy he'll be in another 5 years, I can't really say. So many new experiences and changes lie ahead of him and all of us and it's hard to say how they will effect him. I'm really nervous about his starting Kindergarten next year. He's so young, so sensitive, so innocent yet, and I worry that he will start to lose those qualities, qualities that I see as such an integral part of who he is. I hope that isn't the case. I hope that while he is bound to grow, change and develop that he will always stay a bit my "sweet little boy" forever.